As the title of this tape suggests, Whyte encourages his listener to make a friend with the unknown: "If you can’t make a friend with the unknown, then life will always appear as a kind of enemy or something that is constantly at your throat." Whyte looks to the gift of the imagination as a critical ally in meeting and befriending the obscure and mysterious dimensions of life. He explains that the imagination cannot be understood as merely a cognitive process to help gain access to ideas and solutions.

Because he is a poet, Whyte suggests embracing the imagination as a respected companion and guide – one that helps us negotiate the challenging terrain of the unknown. Equating the unknown with those times and experiences when we find ourselves suddenly without bearings and unable to find our way, Whyte states that the unknown typically enters wherever we make ourselves at home in the world. At every corner and twist in the road, the unknown arrives through the people, places, communities, and events that provide the shape and structure of our lives. In other words, the unknown is not something that is “out there” waiting for us, but is instead a potential visitor who arrives in the most familiar of places.

He suggests four questions that can stimulate understanding one’s relationship with the unknown – questions that start from the outside in order to gain access to the inside.

1. What is the courageous conversation we are not having with the unknown future?

2. What is the courageous conversation we are not having with the societies of which we are a part?

3. What is the courageous conversation we are not having in our work – with the people we phone, email, and see everyday?

4. What is the courageous conversation we are not having with our self, in our own heart and mind, with our partner, our children and our loved ones?

And here I thought I was merely looking for something in that desk drawer! Now I am beginning to wonder if in fact the tape was actually looking for me. Since our reconnection, I have been listening to it each time I am in my car. I am recognizing that there are many courageous conversations I have not yet had because I am afraid, stubborn, or too busy to do so. Rather than waiting for my annual review of the year on December 31, I think I will begin asking myself these questions...soon. How about you?

In the meantime, on behalf of the Board, we extend our very best wishes for happy and safe holidays to you and your families! See you on January 20 at our first chapter luncheon of 2010 with our very own Debra Manchester sharing her expertise on helping families thrive during turbulent times.

References: Whyte, D. (1994). The heart aroused. New York: Bantam Books. Whyte, D. (1997). Making a friend of the unknown. Langley, WA: Many Rivers Company.